I think especially the English language has these evaluating words. We Dutch speakers just get together. We go and meet with someone. I think the same goes for German or French and Italians usually have meals or a drink together. Only English spend time together. Language itself tells on its speakers.
I’d appreciate more loyalty in friendships. More “friends” reaching out to me. Wanting to share their time, but alas, most “friends” are too busy, too self absorbed, or whatever to genuinely reach back as a friend. This is what I’ve found in recent years. No loyalty in friendships. I feel like I’m the only one, most of the time, who is reaching out to connect with a friend. And most of the time, they won’t commit to “sharing” their time with me. I think some expect to make money whilst sharing their time or it’s not worth it to them. I’m seeing this a lot with “friends” in the health & wellness biz if you aren’t spending $100, they don’t have time. It’s hurtful. Why can’t we get together as friends, & not worry about money? This has left me very lonely at times. Longing for a friend to reach out to me. To want to hangout with me. Gladly. No money involved. Just friendship. Pure & simple. This is becoming harder to find. I’ve noticed.
Obviously, I can't comment on your specific situation, Denise, but I trust that if you keep sincerely engaging without ulterior motives, you will attract compatible companions.
I’m happily married to my best friend, & have a grown son, & I do have friends who I share time with occasionally. It’s just that I’ve noticed some friends, & some who I’ve known for decades, raised our kids together & everything, are now more distant. Choosing to hang within their little family, & not much else. I’ll reach out to them, check on their well being, & try to connect, but all they can give in return is a “thumbs up” imogi on the phone, or a heart symbol. But not really caring about my well being. No reciprocation on their part. I’m also seeing a lot more anxiety in people, so I am also forgiving & patient. Folks are going through a lot right now. That’s why I feel it’s important to have friendships. To avoid loneliness & anxiety. Friends helping friends stay afloat of all the crap in the world. But most just retreat into themselves & their families. True friendship doesn’t appear to be a high priority anymore. This is what I’m noticing. It’s a bit sad to me. I miss my younger days when friends were a plenty! When a friend would just stop over to say hi for no other reason. When friends would randomly call & chat on the phone. Just for the heck of it. When a friend offered help if I needed or gave a hug when things weren’t going right. Or made me laugh at their silly behavior. People are more distant now. I’ve really noticed this since “covid”. I lost a lot of friends over the “covid” scam. The “mysterious sickness” never scared me. Not once. What frightened me was the response to it. The division it caused. The coercion to take a product that wasn’t tested properly, & has now been proven to be very harmful to one’s health. The constant focus on world affairs. The lack of insight, & discernment is off the charts. People have become more weird. Friendship is difficult these days. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a few who haven’t fallen off the rails. Most don’t seem interested in investing their time anymore. Like you said, it’s a commodity to them. An investment. Sharing your precious time with another human who needs connection on a friendship level seems too much these days. Just noticing these things.
I think you're right, although I'm not sure why this is. We are a family of 4 but most of our friends are single people and it's very difficult to arrange time with them for some reason. There are other families the we know and love but they seem to have hardly any time to get together. However, on the rare occasion that we do it's well worth it. We've found the best way to get people together is to create an event e.g. a solstice bonfire, a barbecue or at this time of year a story telling session.
I tend to think of hanging out with my friends as a time when we converse, exchange ideas, share perspectives, even work through difficult topics we may not agree upon yet we respect one another's opinions. Hanging out can be going for a hike or mountain biking or riding horses; no words are spoken for hours and yet we're comfortable in silence. My observation over the years is that those who lash out, demand, wheedle, or otherwise manipulate their "friends" lack introspective examination and often have an agenda at hand. I prefer to avoid that personality type as it is exhausting to be around. Good friends are a treasure and I hold them close to my heart and soul.
Thank you, Claire. I smiled and nodded all the way through this comment. You appear to have made some excellent progress in sharing time vs. spending time. I'm inspired by your example!
I think especially the English language has these evaluating words. We Dutch speakers just get together. We go and meet with someone. I think the same goes for German or French and Italians usually have meals or a drink together. Only English spend time together. Language itself tells on its speakers.
That's an interesting take, Ingrid. I don't know enough about other languages to have a useful reply but I will look into this!
Baltic and Slavic languages use complex words with quite funny literal meanings.
Latvians accompany or escort time ('pavadīt' – literally "to lead along").
Lithuanians let it through ('praleisti').
Russians lead it through ('провести'); my understanding is Bulgarian 'прекарвам' has the same literal meaning although it comes from a different root.
Thank you, Rat! I love learning stuff like this and deepening my understanding of the power of word choices and spells.
I’d appreciate more loyalty in friendships. More “friends” reaching out to me. Wanting to share their time, but alas, most “friends” are too busy, too self absorbed, or whatever to genuinely reach back as a friend. This is what I’ve found in recent years. No loyalty in friendships. I feel like I’m the only one, most of the time, who is reaching out to connect with a friend. And most of the time, they won’t commit to “sharing” their time with me. I think some expect to make money whilst sharing their time or it’s not worth it to them. I’m seeing this a lot with “friends” in the health & wellness biz if you aren’t spending $100, they don’t have time. It’s hurtful. Why can’t we get together as friends, & not worry about money? This has left me very lonely at times. Longing for a friend to reach out to me. To want to hangout with me. Gladly. No money involved. Just friendship. Pure & simple. This is becoming harder to find. I’ve noticed.
Obviously, I can't comment on your specific situation, Denise, but I trust that if you keep sincerely engaging without ulterior motives, you will attract compatible companions.
I’m happily married to my best friend, & have a grown son, & I do have friends who I share time with occasionally. It’s just that I’ve noticed some friends, & some who I’ve known for decades, raised our kids together & everything, are now more distant. Choosing to hang within their little family, & not much else. I’ll reach out to them, check on their well being, & try to connect, but all they can give in return is a “thumbs up” imogi on the phone, or a heart symbol. But not really caring about my well being. No reciprocation on their part. I’m also seeing a lot more anxiety in people, so I am also forgiving & patient. Folks are going through a lot right now. That’s why I feel it’s important to have friendships. To avoid loneliness & anxiety. Friends helping friends stay afloat of all the crap in the world. But most just retreat into themselves & their families. True friendship doesn’t appear to be a high priority anymore. This is what I’m noticing. It’s a bit sad to me. I miss my younger days when friends were a plenty! When a friend would just stop over to say hi for no other reason. When friends would randomly call & chat on the phone. Just for the heck of it. When a friend offered help if I needed or gave a hug when things weren’t going right. Or made me laugh at their silly behavior. People are more distant now. I’ve really noticed this since “covid”. I lost a lot of friends over the “covid” scam. The “mysterious sickness” never scared me. Not once. What frightened me was the response to it. The division it caused. The coercion to take a product that wasn’t tested properly, & has now been proven to be very harmful to one’s health. The constant focus on world affairs. The lack of insight, & discernment is off the charts. People have become more weird. Friendship is difficult these days. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a few who haven’t fallen off the rails. Most don’t seem interested in investing their time anymore. Like you said, it’s a commodity to them. An investment. Sharing your precious time with another human who needs connection on a friendship level seems too much these days. Just noticing these things.
I think you're right, although I'm not sure why this is. We are a family of 4 but most of our friends are single people and it's very difficult to arrange time with them for some reason. There are other families the we know and love but they seem to have hardly any time to get together. However, on the rare occasion that we do it's well worth it. We've found the best way to get people together is to create an event e.g. a solstice bonfire, a barbecue or at this time of year a story telling session.
Indeed, it requires intentionality to meet up just for the sake of meeting up. After time, however, it begins to feel natural again.
I tend to think of hanging out with my friends as a time when we converse, exchange ideas, share perspectives, even work through difficult topics we may not agree upon yet we respect one another's opinions. Hanging out can be going for a hike or mountain biking or riding horses; no words are spoken for hours and yet we're comfortable in silence. My observation over the years is that those who lash out, demand, wheedle, or otherwise manipulate their "friends" lack introspective examination and often have an agenda at hand. I prefer to avoid that personality type as it is exhausting to be around. Good friends are a treasure and I hold them close to my heart and soul.
Thank you, Claire. I smiled and nodded all the way through this comment. You appear to have made some excellent progress in sharing time vs. spending time. I'm inspired by your example!
😊🙏
😊🙏