Street stories: Why helping others is the only way to live
“If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (Corinthians 13:3)
I recently scrolled through some “updates” I wrote on GoFundMe in the pre-pandemic age. As I read, it struck me that sharing these sentiments could serve to inspire others to step up and get busy with helping those in need.
So, here goes…
UPDATE #1:
Try your best to imagine being outside — sitting on asphalt — underdressed, sleep-deprived, hungry, sick, and lonely in the NYC snow and single-digit wind chill. Most people pass you without a glance, making you feel invisible. Others openly mock you. Some go as far as spitting on you or kicking over your collection cup. Try your best to imagine the profound despair such an existence would provoke and how desperately you’d crave even a short break from this life — a hint of relief to recharge your body and steel your mindset.
Now try to imagine someone coming along to smile, say hello, and inquire about your well-being. They may hand you, for example, a $10 gift card to the fast-food restaurant on the next block. That little piece of plastic means you get inside for at least an hour. You get to warm up and eat a meal. You get to use a bathroom — relieve yourself, wash up, brush your teeth, comb your hair, etc. You get to sit amongst lots of other people and feel “normal” and not judged. Simply put, you get a desperately needed respite.
Try to imagine how important such a break would be for your physical and mental health.
This is what YOUR donations mean on the street. If everyone reading this sent in $10, each of those gestures would translate directly to a temporary reprieve from a harsh, sometimes hopeless reality. Your act of kindness is just a few clicks away yet its impact is almost beyond calculation.
UPDATE #2:
As I made my rounds today, I encountered a homeless woman I’d never seen before. She was a middle-aged Black woman, walking slowly through a subway station carrying a bunch of black plastic bags — asking for “5 cents” from passersby (in a low, whispery voice). She was being ignored as if she were invisible and seemed awfully used to such treatment. When I saw her and slowed down, her full voice came to her. “Thank the Lord,” she chuckled, “finally, someone!”
As I dug into my bag to find a gift card, she said to me: “Put out your hand, boss.” I saw she was reaching into one of the black bags to procure some colorful yarn — some of it intertwined, most of it loose strands. We made our exchange. She took the gift card and placed some yarn onto the palm of my hand. With another chuckle, she told me to hold and gave me more (see photo). I smiled and waited for an explanation. It didn’t arrive. The woman put the gift card in her pocket, thanked me, and added “God bless you” before moving on — her voice returning to whisper level as she asked for “5 cents” from indifferent subway commuters.
The 30-second video below was made by a homeless woman I’ve helped for at least six years. To learn more about Laura and how to help her, click here and here for posts I wrote about her earlier this year.
“The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” (Howard Zinn)
UPDATE #3:
It’s pretty consistently cold in NYC now and at least two of my longtime regulars are sick. I saw one of them today and she was pretty down. She was hoping to earn a specific amount so she could stop panhandling for the day — and concentrate on rest/healing.
I gave her a gift card (and other goodies, like socks) and did my best to cheer her up. In a flash, a woman stopped by with a box of untouched food from a corporate meeting nearby. Minutes later, a man casually dropped a single bill into her cup. It was a very large bill — enough to allow the homeless woman to call it a day early.
“Whenever you’re here,” she told me, “I always get so many donations. I don’t know why, but it always happens.” After a pause, she added: “Maybe, since I’m so happy to see you, other people feel my energy and are more likely to give.”
Author’s note: For nearly seven years now, this trend continues. I stop to help and talk with a homeless woman and boom: people appear out of nowhere to offer money, smiles, good wishes, and more. This is what happens when you decide to serve others.
Both my parents taught me about goodwill
And I have done well by their names
Just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
Is more than I can explain
(Ani Di Franco)
UPDATE #4:
Many (most?) homeless women are victims of domestic abuse and/or sexual violence. They are living on the street or in a shelter and have become even more vulnerable. I don’t expect effusive displays of gratitude or long conversations. This may happen but the goal isn’t to boost my ego. I’m here to help and not set parameters on how that help must be accepted (or accepted at all).
I’ve been ignored and shooed away by some homeless women. In other instances, my efforts elicit a quick “thank you” and zero eye contact. I do not take this personally or allow it to color my future interactions with such women. I will never understand their struggle so my aim is to be useful and respectful… not praised.
And then, every now and then, I have a day like yesterday. I stopped by to see T. She was a regular for quite a while, got temporary housing, and thus vanished, but now, she’s back on the streets. I’ve been told many times that the “housing” that the city provides can often be worse and more dangerous than living on the street. So, of course, I’m back to helping T.
I had given her a batch of much-needed underwear and socks about 10 days ago and stopped by with gift cards a few times since then. It turns out she had a little speech prepared for me.
T thanked me for the underwear. She was grateful that they were the right size and I didn’t buy the “grandma kind.” She explained that she really needed them but was about to “waste a prayer” on them but then I showed up so she could save that prayer for something bigger.
“I just want you to know how much I appreciate you, Mickey,” she said. “I’ve told you about all the men who approach me when I’m panhandling. Some guy today asked me if I liked foot massages and tried to get me to go with him. I can’t wrap my head around why men are like that. I don’t even want to think about it.”
“I don’t understand either, “ I replied, “but I’m just so sorry you and so many other women have to deal with it.”
“But, Mickey, nothing about you is creepy,” T continued. “You just go out of your way to help so many of us girls and if you see a tear coming out of my eye now, it’s because I appreciate you. I mean it. Best of all, you’re someone I can have a real conversation with when there’s practically no one in the world I can talk to.”
Whenever I have trouble articulating what this project has meant to me for all these years, T’s speech sums it up for me.
Please keep the support coming! If you keep doing what you do, I can keep doing what I do (and more).
You can make a direct donation right here.
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No matter what, please spread the word by sharing the above links far and wide! Thank you, as always, for your kind and generous support. And if you cross paths with a homeless woman, remember to be friendly and compassionate.
I hope that God blesses this ministry in ways you haven’t even thought of yet!