DeNiro rides the R train

(with some help from yours truly)

It was a Sunday in April 2017 — around 11:30 a.m. I was in Manhattan to train a client and then give out food, supplies, and clothes to homeless women. Afterwards, I hopped on the R train — heading back to Astoria. It was pretty empty that time of day so I positioned myself in a corner seat, off to myself as usual.

At Lexington Ave., a well-dressed, older white man got on through the door at the other end of the car. Being ever-alert, I gave him the once-over. He glanced around and began (literally) sauntering toward the empty side — my side. 

I spontaneously thought to myself, “This guy looks like he’s playing a mobster in a movie.”

He reached me but chose to not sit down. As the train pulled out of the station, he just stood across from me in the doorway. My NYC guard went up so I used my peripheral vision to gauge his distance (8-to-10 feet) and vibe. His energy felt a little edgy so I looked up. 

Our eyes met and he gave me the old-school nod of tough guy familiarity. I don’t know how it is now, but this was once normal in the Big Apple. Sort of a mini-truce, back in the day.

That’s when I noticed: Funny, but this guy looks like Robert DeNiro.

I looked down but sensed him moving toward me, reaching into his pocket. As I shifted myself to repel a potential attack, he showed me a text on his smartphone. “Take M or R to Steinway,” it read. He asked me, in a low and very familiar voice: “This train will take me there?”

It took every ounce of restraint in my body to not say: “You talkin’ to me?” Instead, I simply replied: “Yeah, it’s just a couple of stops. I’ll let you know.”

He smiled and thanked me before moving back to his standing spot.

My mind did the calculations. I knew there was a major Martin Scorcese retrospective going on at the Museum of Moving Image (MOMI). The subway stop for the MOMI is Steinway Street. So yeah, this was definitely Don Vito.

I guess the R train was easier than driving to Queens and looking for a parking spot.

Speaking of the R train to Queens, I did a quick check to see if any of my fellow passengers had also recognized the Raging Bull. None of them appeared to be giving the deer hunter a second thought. Was he way out of his demographic? Is that why he opted to stand near me to get directions?

Either way, now that we had shared the old-school nod and had a brief exchange, me and Travis Bickle were pals. As the R train hurtled through the long underwater tunnel between Manhattan and Queens, Bob and I occasionally made eye contact.

Each time, he nodded and smiled. And I pondered starting a conversation in the meager time we had before his stop.

I could’ve said what everyone says: “I just wrote a screenplay.” This just so happens to be true but, c’mon… seriously? 

I could’ve instead told him about my efforts to help homeless women and asked for support — but that would’ve required context. Would I have had time to bridge the gap, earn his trust, and make some kind of pitch before Steinway Street?

Before I knew it, we were out from under the East River at the Queens Plaza stop, and like everyone else, he pulled out his phone to check for messages. 

The doors closed and we moved on. He looked around and gave me another nod. We’re buddies. Now that I’d decided to not try pitching anything, I just wanted to ask him a two-word question: Dirty Grandpa? Maybe three words, because I’d add: Really?

Anyway, we hit 36th Street and Rupert Pupkin looked over at me. “One more stop,” I assured him and he thanked me yet again before asking: “Is this Long Island City?” 

It felt like a trick question because a lifetime New Yorker like him surely knew the answer to his own question. He didn’t flinch so I responded: “We’re on the cusp between Long Island City and Astoria. Most people call it Astoria these days. It’s trendier.”

He let out a tiny chuckle. Nothing like Max Cady. 

The R train made its clamorous entrance into the Steinway Street station. Bobby D. gave me a smile, a wave, and one more “thanks.”

I smiled and waved back and off went Jimmy the Gent to make his way through the mean streets of Astoria.

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