thinking about death can enhance your life

(Astoria: 2020)

“The future’s uncertain and the end is always near.” (The Doors)

“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” (Charles Bukowski) 

Please allow me to begin with the following words from the author, Eric Weiner. He was documenting his trip to Bhutan — a nation where all citizens are asked to think about death five times a day. Here are some of Weiner’s recollections:

On a visit to Thimphu, the capital of Bhutan, I found myself sitting across from a man named Karma Ura, spilling my guts. Maybe it was the fact that he was named Karma, or the thin air, or the way travel melts my defenses, but I decided to confess something very personal. Not that long before, seemingly out of the blue, I had experienced some disturbing symptoms: shortness of breath, dizziness, numbness in my hands and feet. At first, I feared I was having a heart attack, or going crazy. Maybe both. So I went to the doctor, who ran a series of tests and found...

“Nothing,” said Ura. Even before I could complete my sentence, he knew that my fears were unfounded. I was not dying, at least not as quickly as I feared. I was having a panic attack.

“You need to think about death for five minutes every day,” Ura replied. “It will cure you.”

“How?” I said, dumbfounded.

“It is this thing, this fear of death, this fear of dying before we have accomplished what we want or seen our children grow. This is what is troubling you.”

“But why would I want to think about something so depressing?”

“Rich people in the West, they have not touched dead bodies, fresh wounds, rotten things. This is a problem. This is the human condition. We have to be ready for the moment we cease to exist.”

You might call the lesson above instant Karma. Western culture has done a horrendous job of teaching us about death. Think about it. Let’s say you’re in the third grade and one day, you have a substitute teacher. They tell you that your regular teacher suffered “a death in the family” but will be back soon. 

She returns soon enough — with a fake smile plastered on her grieving face and the subject is dropped. A powerful lesson or two is learned. Death is something you don’t talk about. And if you don’t recover from it in a week, there’s something abnormal about you.

Over the years, you send a card. Maybe you show up at a funeral. You spout all the accepted pieties (“Stay strong,” “They’re in a better place,” etc.). But you’re never really supposed to think hard about death and heaven forbid you bring up the topic in polite conversation! 

Pro tip: Talk about death… before it’s too late.

“In the attempt to defeat death, man has been inevitably obliged to defeat life — for the two are inextricably related.” (Henry Miller)

4 Ways Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life

1. You are less susceptible to fear conditioning 

We are still in the midst of one of the greatest fear programs of all time. We’ve been literally conditioned to be afraid of breath itself. Our loved ones might as well be wearing black hoods and carrying a scythe these days. Breaking news: There is no such thing as a life without risk. Break free from the fear-and-divide narrative. When you think about death — really think about it — you grow liberated from such transparently manufactured fear. 

2. You have enhanced focus and self-discipline

Accepting that you are on borrowed time has a way of kicking you in the ass. Your time is finite thus, every day lost is a day gone forever. This mindset inspires self-discipline. You’ll find yourself creating healthy daily habits and rituals, making and following through on plans. You make time for who and what feels essential while delegating less and less energy toward distractions like social media and fake news. You make each day count.

3. You can see each day’s meaning more clearly

Replace fear with gratitude. Your awareness of death helps you more clearly recognize what you have. It adds meaning to your daily life. You will also feel more inclined to practice acts of kindness and forgiveness. If not now, when?

4. Motivation

As Tyler Durden warned, “This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.” A daily death meditation provokes you to find a purpose, a mission. It prevents you from drifting through your meager time as if it were not fleeting. The tick-tick-tick of life’s impermanence has the power to help you set and meet goals. It also inspires us to live a more soul-centered existence. 

Memento mori.