My life has been a series of “Dylan goes electric” moments

Staying authentic means leaving some people behind

Last week, I was un-friended on Facebook by someone I know for nearly 12 years. We collaborated on creative and activist projects on more than a couple of occasions. She also helped raise funds for my program to help homeless women in NYC. Here’s a photo of the donation jar she set up at her place of business:

We hadn’t been in touch for a while but I was taken aback when she deleted me. No explanation. No comment. And, of course, not a shred of evidence to counter anything I've ever posted that may have “triggered” her. 

It's sad how intolerant so many people have become. I continue to be disappointed by such behavior — but I’m no longer surprised. 

After all, my life has been a series of “Dylan goes electric” moments (watch the short video below for crucial context):

To be authentic, you must risk leaving some folks behind. It’s nothing personal or intentional. But when people want you to remain static in your thinking, your art, your worldview, etc., they are attempting to limit you. You do not owe it to them to comply. 

I’m someone who revels in epiphanies, those precious moments when I recognize a new perspective. Shifting gears into a fresh mindset does not intimidate me — but damn, it does get me attacked.

It’s a net positive though. When someone who appears to be close to me ditches me because I no longer agree with them, well… this just in: We were never that close. We were what Alicen Grey calls “ideological friends.” In my case, it can be a little trickier than for the average person.

I’m a writer, a public speaker, a photographer, and now… a podcaster. There are people who align themselves with me because they hear their own thoughts coming back at them — just more articulately stated (and backed with copious, irrefutable evidence).

Thus, it’s unnerving to hear me, um, occupy opinions that run counter to what they expect. Like Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival, you’ll get called a “Judas” (and much worse). But who’s the Judas? You claimed to like or even love me but your connection with me was not even strong enough to withstand a difference of opinion? 

I chose to write this post, not for sympathy or credit. I’m not calling out anyone in particular. This post sits here now, on my Substack, as a request.

I’m asking each of you to open-mindedly entertain different viewpoints, pay close attention to where your heart leads you (but do your research, too), and not impose your ideological expectations on the people you admire or care about. 

On that note, I’ll close with some lyrics from “Maggie’s Farm” — the song Bob Dylan was singing when he was booed by his “fans” on July 25, 1965:

I try my best to be just like I am

But everybody wants you to be just like them

They say ‘sing while you slave,’ and I just get bored