Finding reconnection through the power of human touch (and rescue hugs)
I was recently reminded of the incredible story of the “rescuing hug” photo (above). To sum up the basics:
Kyrie and Brielle Jackson were born on October 17, 1995 — 12 weeks ahead of their due date. Kyrie weighed only 2 pounds, 3 ounces. Brielle was even smaller and far more frail.
As per hospital policy, they were placed in separate incubators to reduce the risk of infection. Kyrie slowly began to thrive but Brielle did not. She experienced heart and breathing problems and was put in critical condition on November 12 — seemingly near death.
Nurse Gayle Kasparian decided to try something unheard of at the time. She got the parents’ permission to place the twins in the same bed. Here’s what happened next:
No sooner had the nurse closed the incubator door, than the fragile Brielle snuggled up to Kyrie and began to calm down. Within minutes, her blood-oxygen readings improved. Kyrie wrapped her left arm around her smaller sister. Brielle's heart rate stabilized and her temperature rose to normal.
Long story short: The blessed power of human touch and connection prevailed. The twins survived and are living full healthy lives.
We all need and crave reconnection — now more than ever.
Whenever you’re touched by someone you trust, this welcome physical contact activates pressure receptors below the skin — thus setting off an incredible, healing process. Your Pacinian corpuscles send a message to your vagus nerve which, in turn, slows down your nervous system by:
Lowering your blood pressure and heart rate
Decreasing the level of stress hormones like cortisol
The more you hug, the more hands you hold, the more snuggles you enjoy, the less of a threat cortisol plays in your body. Under normal circumstances, cortisol serves as your body’s alarm — ever ready to launch you into fight-or-flight mode when real or perceived danger is present.
Thanks to this stress hormone, you will temporarily experience a burst of energy, enhanced memory, increased immunity, and a higher pain threshold. All this is obviously a good thing… except in instances of chronic stress.
Chronic stress = chronic cortisol. The negative outcomes of this equation include dangerously impaired cognitive performance and troubling physical symptoms like:
Decreased muscle tissue and bone density
Higher blood pressure
Suppressed thyroid function
Compromised immune functions
Blood sugar imbalances
Increased abdominal fat which may lead to heart attacks, strokes, and more
Trusted human touch counters all of the above while simultaneously increasing the presence of what has been labeled the “cuddle hormone”: a neuropeptide called oxytocin. It promotes powerful feelings of bonding. From this foundation grows trust, compassion, positive thinking, and an optimistic outlook.
Good news: Self-touch may activate some of the same soothing processes as being touched by others. Plus, if you’re fortunate to share your home with an animal companion, there are many benefits to be gained from cuddling with a dog or cat (for everyone involved).
Beyond self-touch and pets, you can try replicating the positive effects of physical touch by focusing on your other senses, e.g.
The Value of Keepsakes: Any item that evokes the presence of a loved one should be touched and/or placed in your daily line of sight.
Memory Visualization: If you’re without any keepsakes on hand, you may choose to rely on visualization. Get in touch with a positive memory with a loved one, meditate upon it, and bring all your senses to a state of awareness and gratitude.
Sensory Self-Care: Examples include taking long baths or showers, starting a stretching regimen, self-massage, and wearing comfortable clothing. Also, make it a daily practice to actively discover and appreciate the sights, sounds, and smells within your immediate surroundings.
Weighted Blanket: I can personally vouch for the calming effect of using my 15-pound blanket. The added pressure has been found to activate serotonin and reduce cortisol. On a more abstract but delightful level, it sorta feels like you’re getting a gentle hug all night long.
Above is the most recent photo I could find of Brielle and Kyrie Jackson (in their 20s).
People all around you need real or virtual versions of a rescuing hug right now. Who will you rescue today?
It is so nice to see the story come around again in such a beautiful context and even a bonus photograph of the twins as adults. Someone I worked with when the story first came out sent me a copy of the new story. It moved me so much I printed it out and saved it in my keepsakes. Years later, as in 3 years ago I needed a job. I had been laid off from a job and having a difficult time finding one which I attributed to recruiters being able to calculate my age from the new style resumes. I put a profound call out to the universe asking for what I wanted. 3 weeks later the person that sent me the article on the rescuing hug contacted me about a job. I am still working there. I forgot about the news article. I was going through a box labeled meditation stuff looking for something specific and came across it several months after I started working there. This is such a beautiful article! Thank you for bringing so many things full circle.
Good reminders. I started with a weighted blanket last week!
Something else to consider: magnesium!
Chronic stress apparently depletes it. Many take it to relax (think epsom salts).
I lived with high cortisol for at least 2 years and it was miserable. Turns out I also had a cellular mag deficiency.
I am still low in mag, but improvement is there.
One thing that the past 3 years have really messed with is human contact. We need to make a conscious effort to break through this. All those cranky people REALLY need it